Today, I drank coffee.

Today, I drank coffee.

What sounds like normality to most people has been a nightmare for me. I hadn't had a cup all year.

For the last few weeks, telling myself the stress of the move warranted the leniency, I've had the occasional Fritz Cola. Despite the higher caffeine content, they didn't affect my sleep. I only drank the sugary sweetness before three in the afternoon.

I don't drink caffeine after three. This necessary restriction has been one of my self-imposed policies for years.

I don't sleep much. Most nights consist of tossing and turning, conscious half-sleep, half-awake dreaming, and little sleep. This nightly struggle gets worse if I let myself break any of my guidelines.

Today, I drank coffee. I didn't break a policy. It was 1.45 pm when I took my final sip.

Half an hour later, I was shaking. My hands started trembling, then my whole body twitched. Another half hour later, my body did its best to expell the unwanted acidic jitter-inducing substance. I countered the caffeine with calories (though I have no clue if it works that way). My body calmed itself soon after.

I am writing this at 1:10 am. So, to be exact: Yesterday, I drank coffee. Today, I regret my choice. I'll stick with tea, thank you.

I have a new policy now: I don't drink coffee. Period.

Kate Hildenbrand

Kate Hildenbrand

Kate Hildenbrand is a writer, youtuber, and podcaster about sustainability, minimalism, and living a life worth living.
Germany